Andy Cutler Chelation Protocol #Round 5

12th October 2012  (2pm) - 15th October 2012  (2pm)

Just that when I thought I had just successfully finished my #round 4 with Jaden and was looking to a few days rest before I begin chelating again, it was Friday again and there I was, sitting at the dining table, cutting up dosages and dividing them onto the folded paper.

I am surprised that I was eager to chelate him this weekend, despite lacking of sleep. The goal I set for both Jaden, 5 years, to see if we can actually feel the light and if God allows, for us to reach that light at the end of this long dark tunnel. 

It gets easier once you pass #round 1 or maybe #round 2, when you finally, somehow created that every 4 hour dosing schedule.

This time round, I had a scare on Saturday morning. Partly my fault for trying to be hero and thinking that even if I clocked in just a few hours of sleep, I would be able to wake up as soon as the alarm goes off and quickly get the DMSA into the syringe and *touch wood* successfully syringing it into his mouth without waking him up. 

It was raining, that Saturday morning. In fact, I think it had been raining for quite some time and everybody knows, its the most perfect weather to sleep in, under the warm covers.. and that was what I did. 

My alarm went off at 950am, and I thought I would just sleep 5 minutes more.. the boy was actually awake by then, and was giggling and playing. 

I really thought that with him moving around the bed like that, giggling away, I would be able to quickly jump out of bed in 5 minutes and get the DMSA ready.

Well, I did jumped out of bed very very QUICKLY... when the clock showed 1040am.

HIS DOSING TIME WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AT 10AM

I TOTALLY MISSED THAT 1/2 HOUR WINDOW ALLOWED ...

so I panic, yet I didn't want to abandon round, thinking that 5mg is still really very little and that I was just 10 minutes late from the allowed window.

So holding that thought, I fed him that DMSA and then panic and stressed myself silly after that, not knowing if I had done the right thing, or I need to abandon the round this weekend because of my greed for 5 more minutes. 

I quickly send out SOS messages to experienced parents, online, sms and calls. 

*phew* turned out that I did the right thing and that my effort thus far was not in vain. 

One that has not gone through this over-sleeping act, will never really be able to phantom that exact feeling I had. 

I thanked the parents who replied my SOS messages.. and found it funny that I could not type " You have no idea what I have just been through.... :)"

I am sure almost every one that replied me had gone through that oversleeping moments and panic as much as I did. This is the type of unnecessary stress I need not, in addition to the lacking of sleep. :p

Seems that Jaden is good on this round too. The obvious signs of him having his yeast flaring up, are his sudden break into giggles and hyperness. *sigh*

Round ended at 2pm Monday and he was pretty fine, throughout the day... and then it all began, the   bad off-round moments.

Started early this morning, when he didn't sleep through the night soundly like what he usually does, waking up at 6am-ish and cried and cried and then played till about 8 before he got a stroke of cane by me and he fell asleep rather fast after that... and the bad behavior mode on, hyperness .. oh boy...

Will most probably be taking a break off chelation for next week and begin the week after... maybe this time I will try using ALA and observe if Jaden will behave much better on ALA alone.

Andy Cutler Chelation Protocol #Round 2

I have to admit that I am rather a procrastinator and I really need to be pushed to do something. Thankfully there is a mother who really pushes me each time I see her to carry out my next round of chelation for Jaden.

After the first successful round of AC Chelation for Jaden, there were issues of tantrum and the worst scenario was the yeast issue then when his ass turned really red with tiny bumps appearing. He seemed to show signs of the itch too but what that put me off was that I had tried so hard to make the butt not be red anymore with the antifungal I pile on him for the past two months. 

We had a anti-yeast protocol and also the anti-parasite protocol while at that and I did see really good results from it. 

After #round 1, it was as if I had never done the anti yeast and parasite protocol before. That was what that dampened my hope but I had always known all along that yeast would be a long fighting battle until we find the right dosage, till then, it will always be a pesky persistent enemy, just not much of a big enemy if compared to the overall big boss -AUTISM.

So last two Fridays ago, at 130pm, I took out 4caps of 25mg DMSA and divided them up into 20 dosages. For an every four hour dosage, 72 hours dosing, 19 dosages altogether. Confused much? :p

I gave him his first dosage of #round2 at 230pm, then 630pm and then we went out and time was not on our side if I were to wait till 1030pm for the next dosing, so I adjusted it and gave him 1/2hr earlier -10pm and from there, all dosings were at 2,6,10,2,6,10 .. you get the drift...

#Round 2 went by really quickly in a way but this was a bad round for us. 

I observed that he was really easily agitated, temper that was really bad and that he showed signs of being aware of the boy, who he meets once a week, lets call that boy, M. 

M has always been playing with his ipad around Jaden, and at time crying or having his tantrum issue but it has never affected Jaden. This time round, both boys were fighting over the ipad, and then Jaden even went and give M a push in the back when M was crying as it affected Jaden and made Jaden wanted to cry too. It was rather confusing on whats happening and I am not sure if its a good or bad thing. 

So I have to conclude that behavior wise on #round 2 was really bad. Mall security guards thought I was kidnapping Jaden, the way he was screaming his lungs out when I have to pull him out from shop outlets that he was stimming in. It was crazy!

Anyway I was glad that the #round 2 ended and he was a bit back to being on a good behavior after the round.

Remember, I only said " a bit ..."

There are new issues I need to find out and tackle them again before it becomes an issue for me. :(

p/s: The pressing on chin and squirting the DMSA in at night on #round2 was proven not to have really be that effective compared to the first time I did it on the repeated #round1.

Combatting Yeast

Everyone has yeast, and you can't get rid of all of it. So, if they are there for a reason, I am sure they also have a part to play in our body balance, just that the yeast I am talking about are the bad bad ones that causes trouble instead of helping out. 

Candida.

Jaden's DAN doctor, Dr Rina, could not hear his bowel movement properly. She suspected that his yeast is back, which explains his irritability that could just hit in a blink of an eye, restlessness, and yes, he is back to slightly walking on his toes again. 

So, here we are back at square one at combating yeast, even after we did his second round of Diflucan early this year. 

This time, we are going to be using Nystatin for 2 weeks, together with Oil Of Oregano drops. two drops twice daily for two months. From there, we are going to combat it with Candidase and .. wait, are you scratching your head already wondering what I am yabbing about? *sigh* Its all this mad mom talk about antifungals, drug-based and natural based. 

Of course, one just do not combat yeast easily with just antifungals. They need to have backup soldiers as well helping them out, such as a tough probiotic, which Jaden is taking -TherBiotik Factor 6 and his daily dosages of 500mg Ester-C Bio. 

I am already fearing die-off reaction before I am even starting out but it should be a small problem compared to what I was facing two years ago when he was absolutely on nothing but gluten and casein food intake. Epsom salt bath could help with the die-off partly so thanking my lucky stars, I have another soldier to help take on these nasty yeasts. 

Being on Diflucan the last round, and that being a very strong drug, we are advised to take him for another round of liver,kidney and complete blood count test to make sure he is still in the pink of health to carry on this fight. 

I have made an appointment with another mother who will be coming along with me and her son. So both of us will be there to support each other when our sons are being pinned down to draw blood. 

I hope my giving him Milk Thistle has help protect his liver and at this very moment, I still have not figured out what protects the kidney other than letting him drink loads of water. 

Things have not been that easy around in the house these few days.

Jaden is having his mood swings again, where he will suddenly burst into tears all of a sudden, as if he is overwhelmed with sad sad upsetting thoughts and then suddenly hes ok, acting normal and then the tears come back again.

The hubs suspected that I may be giving him supplements that does not agree with him or that I may have been overdosing him with some. Erm, well, to defend myself, I am only following what the doctor prescribed to me. The prescription is still sticking to the bottle. Then he accused me of getting myself confused seeing two doctors who gives two different prescriptions but hey, the supps that they recommend are the same, just the dosages differ in one or two but still when the positive shines through, you don't say your thanks to the doctors and me but when some things like these happens, the accusations are thrown in my face with utmost shit-talk and say its best that I should not even be doing this to my son. 

Like I previously mentioned, its a tango. One step forward, two steps back. Slowly but surely, we tweaked until we find the right comfortable dosages, supplements to work it out ... and hey, I am not the one that is good in science but I am trying my best trying to help my son. So, if you do not plan to help, don't even open up that gab of yours. 

and... drumroll.. best of all out of the consultation, Dr Rina sees a need in me having to upgrade his diet. 

Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD)

So what is so hard about it since I am already half mastered GFCFEGCF (free of gluten/casein/egg/corn) diet for Jaden right? Check out what is supposedly legal and illegal to eat on top that I have to consider his other food allergies, despite even if there are some foods on SCD list, like almond, milk, cheese and stuff are to be avoided. So which means like most probably out of 100 food out there, there are only really 10-15 food that I can play around to fit inside his food menu .. and to limit his carbo intake. 

TAKE AWAY RICE ??? NOODLES ??? but he is as Asian as he can be. His love for rice and that fills him up. 

You can imagine how I feel when I hear and read about this diet, don't you? But well, I am in no despair right now for there are other options such as the GAPs (guts and psychological syndrome diet) or BED ( Body Ecology Diet) that I can consider .. but its still almost the same when his food allergy list and GFCF is implemented. 

Shall end with this one song ...

Selfish

I have not been updating this blog for quite some time as I sort of, kind of gave up after a few tries and cried of rejection from Jaden when it comes to taking his supplements. 

The endless fights, tears from both ends and the non-supportive rattlings made me stop what I started a year ago.

This is, a very very selfish part on my side.

Jaden, who has no idea what he is going through right now, has only me and Mr to help him get on the road to recovery and me, just because I did not want to make my hands dirty, stopped feeding him supplements for quite some time and that, I really really hate myself deep down inside.

I am his mother, the one that is supposed to be helping him yet I am not.. but well, I have made my 2012 resolution and that is the one and only resolution I am making for the year 2012 until 2013 comes along and that is, to be the warrior mom I never was and to help Jaden fight this together even if it means bucket of tears from both end.

Tempers and Tantrums

I am  not the only one. I believe mothers out there in my situation share the same experience as I do.

I am known to be quite patient compared to most of my friends but there are several things that ticks me off in an instant and changes me to a monster that I can be quite scared of, even of myself. I guess the rage within is an evil thing lurking just waiting to be unleashed.

As you all would have known, I have started Jaden on all his 4 supplements and getting him to eat them all is not an easy job. It means lots of pushing, running away, me chasing, trying to force it down him and also spillage on the floor and of course, all these with lots of crying from both of us -Jaden crying murder and me crying because I feel as if I failed in being a mother. 

AND that is only 4 supplements. 

Just recently, I had two encounters that really got me scared of myself.

One occasion when I was trying to feed Jaden his cod liver oil and he was sitting in his babychair. We were pressing for time to go out to run Mr's errands and the boy decided to refuse his cod liver oil. Of all days, of all places... right at the carpeted area, he pushed the spoon out of my hands and everything sprayed everywhere. 

Anger got the better out of me and without a thought, instantly, my hands went down to want to whack Jaden. Of course, I knew what angry strength could do, so instead of whacking down on Jaden, I vented my anger out on the baby chair and two of my fingers bruised INSTANTLY! It hurt me so much, physical pain of course but that also reminded me of what my strength could have done to the little one should I have hit down on him.

The second occasion that got me crying and having to get out of the house just to cool down was due to Jaden refusing his supplements. As usual, the boy has to take his digestive enzymes before food but that one day, he just refused it and everything spilled everywhere. Not wanting to give in to his demands, I pushed it in his face, forcing him down which resulted in him crying like a banshee, tears and mucus running down his face, with occasional slaps on his arms by me. I was adamant that he drinks it up because it is supposed to help him digest his food inside his guts which is already not working well. By not consuming his digestive enzymes, the food that his body is unable to digest will soon leak out to his blood stream and be toxic. 

The father could not bear to see his son crying away like that and pushed me away from his son. There was nasty exchange of words which left me really heartbroken by what the small and big one has done and said. 

It is at times like these, I feel like giving up. It is at times like these, I feel that I am not appreciated at all for my doings, in wanting to make Jaden well again. It is at times like these, I know that no one else would be able to keep up the supplements timing like I do and make Jaden down them all, even if it might be a little traumatizing. 

I washed up, I got out of the house and drove out. I blanked my mind completely, not wanting to feel anything at all. Sometimes it gets so dejecting, I just want to let it all go but I know deep down, I can't. Because he is my son and I want to see him recover. I want him to recover, at least 80-90% neurotypical. 

I can be a monster mother.

Drama queen

Jaden and I were doing our usual grocery shopping at Jusco after his Fun & Movement class on Saturday when an incident happened that pissed the crap out of me.

Jaden strapped in his stroller, was just being himself. Wanting to touch every packet he sees, trying to grab hold of the apples in the fruit section, sometimes holding on to someone's basket as they pass by just because they were in his way. All he wanted was his path to be clear so that he can see me.

Then this one lady happened to stop right next to his stroller, holding a paperbag. I was busy trying to read labels on the tofu for no preservatives when suddenly I caught Jaden reaching out to want to pull the paperbag, pushing the lady out of his way. It was just in a split second when I quickly tore his hands away from the paperbag, which he managed to beat me to it but it was only happened like half a second. No damage or whatsoever done, like a torn paperbag. I was apologising sorry, sorry, sorry when suddenly I regretted apologising all at once.

This lady, in her 30s, gave him such a dirty stare and the loudest "HAIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" at Jaden. Luckily, Jaden in his case, was not affected by this Haiyo nonsense and the cock stare she gave my son. He was, in fact giving her the friendly smile and not the naughty so what smile at her. I mean the way she reacted to it was as if Jaden torn her dress or stabbed her with something. That was how dramatic she was. 

So why the fuss about Jaden pulling her paperbag for awhile. My oh my, because... jeng jeng jeng... are you ready to hear it?

BECAUSE... it was a LANEIGE paperbag.

Know what Laneige is? It is a skincare brand and what the heck? Raising your voice at the child because of the paperbag. As if lah, it would mean status to you if people see you walking around with that paperbag in hand. 

I stopped apologizing that very moment. I did not even attempt to want to push Jaden out of her way. You can go look at the tofu from far for all I care. I will move away once I am done since you are the one being so rude in the first place.

She can go and apply whatever she wants on her face but with that attitude, I am sorry, you just will not be beautiful at all because you rot inside out.

My son was wrong in the first place to even attempt to touch the paperbag but I did apologize sincerely. Not as if I let him do it and just leave him be. So I am definitely feeling not sorry at all now that Jaden did it because it just helped proved what a person you are.